The Second Path:
Spirituality Through Service
Some of my patients have taught me an important lesson: Reaching out to
others can be a powerful healing influence for the sufferer himself. Again, in my book,
What Do Lions Know About Stress, I suggest several ways to do so, such as helping an
elderly person with ordinary chores, befriending a sick child or being kind to an animal.
This path to healing is especially therapeutic for those who are very sick and have been
so for long periods of time.
The reward for reaching out to someone in need is not what one
receives for it but what one becomes by it.
The essence of reaching out to someone in this context is simply a
matter of being with the sick or needy. Certainly, what doesn't work is telling a
seriously ill or a severely depressed person to cheer up.
Sometimes I hear visitors at hospital wards ask questions that reveal a
morbid curiosity about the patient's prognosis. Family members of cancer patients often
tell me about the number of months or years the ill person is expected to live. Of course,
they have obtained such information from the patient's doctor. It amazes me that there are
physicians who are so insensitive—and ignorant—as to make predictions about who
will live and for how long. As for the family members and friends, their morbid curiosity
about the precise dating of death seldom remains shielded from the sick.
There is a profound irony in this. What comforts the sick and suffering
most are compassion and empathy, and there is no better way to express that than with
silent presence. A visitor's curiosity about the nature of the sickness may be offensive
to the sick. What the ill person needs most is to be with someone who can comfort him by
his presence, and who is available to be spoken to, if and when the sick person wishes to
do so.
A true gift of service is the gift of presence, and the essence of that
presence is listening to what goes unspoken.
Continue
reading this story?
Tell Dr. Ali what you think: mail to Dr. Ali
The
Works of Majid Ali, M.D.